It’s been hours since I felt the inspiration
Months since feeling like a sun beam
But when I sleep and dream
I don’t let the world come in
I over see the land my father has made
Follow his grandmaster plain for me
Remember the smooth and relive the rough moments
My cotton candy wont melt hear
And ill say oh my my
I get to stand on the sun
And fell all right right
Tickle the feet of father time
Because hell always laugh
And never fake like he doesn’t enjoy a good laugh
The posein ivy wont itch
And ill be all right right
Till day when I cant remember
If I’m dreaming
Or really rubbing elbows with
Old time celebrities
To real to be wax
and to dead to be real
It will be the day before I dance till dawn
The evening before I meet Prince
And give him my extra time
And more then a kiss
Ill like it to be the hour past the last
When I lay at the bottom of the ocean
watching clouds and fish go bye
But that was the night before last
Tonight ill dream about that
Man my mom has been preparing for
The one that left to early to be attached
The one that came to soon to be whole
Ill dream of all those
Who stepped in the club and got kicked out
By father time
Cause when he not laughing he’s bouncing
Holding it down
With a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in his right
And a hot coco in the left
My dream world is broken by Mama Lisa.
"Get up its 2 oclock"
Monday, June 15, 2009
Genesis 32: 20
I have been on vacation for a while. And I think the piece that I was looking for the summer was the little shred of me that I had lost amidst all the foolishness through out the year since I left Junior high school and the day I went to church and meet my new pastor (Mr. Cheeks). Now I don’t know too much about him he seems like a young man, today I remember him saying something about being in a Fraternity but he never specified which one and also I heard through the grape vine that he has grown up children…
But that’s not the importance of the day. From the day I left Jefferson and came to Duke Ellington I allowed my self to be remembered as hat girl that was with Chyna (one of my best friends) or the girl with the big but (which isn’t that bad). I allowed the people around me hinder me from moving across that bridge. Its like my mom always said when I was in school your friends won’t be there when you go off to college and in the work field... But I never thought to carry that on out of elementary and junior high school. If your reading this and are one of my good friends then you might agree. When you are with me I allow the group to choose the location of the festivities. But what I learned is that there is a destination that I have that I have to walk to alone.
The pastor brought up a good thing… you know how you going through something real bad and you calling and calling your friends but don’t no one pick up. Or say you on Facebook and then Facebook say no one is online. It’s not because they just decide not to be there for you. It’s because God made it so. Weird… So I start thinking back and I remember this one bad ass time when I was looking at this movie P.S I Love you… And I was all alone. This was ending of freshman year at VCU. I had two roommates and no one was in. My good friends who live in the same building were not answering. The internet wasn’t working and all the many guys who I would text just to chat would not text back… And that night I cried like I was trying to make myself a glass of water. But it helped me I had to do it on my own had to let that pain out on my own.
Any way back to what I have gained I am the only Ashley Analicia Bedeau for now. And my decisions depend on what I think and how I feel and when I cant think and feel for myself I have a Father who will see me through because he is the one who giveth and taketh away when he see fit.
But that’s not the importance of the day. From the day I left Jefferson and came to Duke Ellington I allowed my self to be remembered as hat girl that was with Chyna (one of my best friends) or the girl with the big but (which isn’t that bad). I allowed the people around me hinder me from moving across that bridge. Its like my mom always said when I was in school your friends won’t be there when you go off to college and in the work field... But I never thought to carry that on out of elementary and junior high school. If your reading this and are one of my good friends then you might agree. When you are with me I allow the group to choose the location of the festivities. But what I learned is that there is a destination that I have that I have to walk to alone.
The pastor brought up a good thing… you know how you going through something real bad and you calling and calling your friends but don’t no one pick up. Or say you on Facebook and then Facebook say no one is online. It’s not because they just decide not to be there for you. It’s because God made it so. Weird… So I start thinking back and I remember this one bad ass time when I was looking at this movie P.S I Love you… And I was all alone. This was ending of freshman year at VCU. I had two roommates and no one was in. My good friends who live in the same building were not answering. The internet wasn’t working and all the many guys who I would text just to chat would not text back… And that night I cried like I was trying to make myself a glass of water. But it helped me I had to do it on my own had to let that pain out on my own.
Any way back to what I have gained I am the only Ashley Analicia Bedeau for now. And my decisions depend on what I think and how I feel and when I cant think and feel for myself I have a Father who will see me through because he is the one who giveth and taketh away when he see fit.
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