It's time to let yall know about the change

I was in my FI class when I heard this from the mouths of a fellow lady student.
“labels like those on bottles can cause u not to fully see the context of the person” by come guy named chuck Galusy”... Well come back to that later on.

I wrote this poem a few days ago so yeah it’s a rough draft.
I’m torn between two evils
A man who wants my body and soul
A boy who want my body in his bed
And I can’t see the light for the dark
I want the caress
I want to be wanted
But also what the love in return
It’s dumb but sometimes that’s what comes out.

So now back to this quote. I find that I have been doing this exact thing. I think people seem good; they act like the all god knowing and loving person. But later on I have learned that they or maybe I am not what is expected.
It’s the label that I have been reading that has been misleading me.

Basically what I am trying to say is that I have been misleading I have made this new persona Roxy isn’t a joke it’s the new me, and I don’t think that I have been letting the public in on the Roxy Boo. So stop reading bitches you know you don’t know how lol.

I went to the movies.

Today I didn’t want to get up, my sheets need to be washed, my laundry basket is over flowing and I don’t feel like taking the money out of the bank to wash them… also
I want to be a Kappa; do you think they would let a girl join a male fraternity? Just a side note
I can’t wait till I have someone I know cross over….hint hint
I remember I had a math teacher that would stay saying hint hint lol that guy was so funny
Any way about my day. It’s not good. We have a group project but it seems like all my group wants to do is sit around and fuss about not having time to get together and talk… they don’t have any idea and when ever I ask a question it’s a I don’t know or it’s a what ever answer. I’m a kick one day.
Then we got out of class early and now I’m sitting hear waiting on my next class to start. Oh and I have a late lab today and all I wan to do is sleep
Side note my brother wants to pledge…yeah!!!!!!
Oh I’m back in my room and I found out from a friend how to put music on the blog and then I went to see bed time story and Benjamin buttons in the commons with some friends. There was a line in the movie Benjamin Buttons the mother said,, “my sister had a child, and he got the worst of it” the doctor says what, and she said “He came out white” I love that line.
Now I’m in my room and I found this link from Facebook about Tabey’s and his new song rich kids and then Janelle Monea’s some Smile was on the side so I followed the link. You should do the same she’s awesome. http://vimeo.com/3869218

lovers and friends

“I didn’t know two homoes could make a baby” that boy tony is tooo funny.
I have nothing really to say. There is a probate at my school. I’m in love with me and so many of my friends. Sooner or later ill be out of school and I need a place to stay. That’s really coming down on me the worst. But other then that I’m cool. In love with love, sleeping only when needed, and pushing myself to the limit, party hardy study nightly.

SHort blog for a short day

“I’m not trying to get pregnant”… Toni says “yeah me either” this man so to funny.
SO I’m still looking for my place to stay next year… trying to pass school and be friends with everyone.

Come out to our show Group Moda on April 25th you’ll leave pleased.
It’s almost been a year since I have graduated just wanted to note that….
And that’s today’s blog.

you make me sick

Side note (Okay so the guy that was playing on my phone is a friend that didn’t know how to ask for my number so don’t play on his phone lol.)

It’s so much you know, this whole dating thing specially when your in college and the boys have so much freedom and no willpower. I want to have a male friend that I can believe, that I don’t have to ask my self twice about. But I don’t think its going to happen.

But in there defense lets be real with ourselves women do you not think that they have been through something? Do you not think that one day they will retaliate and hurt someone just as you have hurt them… And for those self righteous girls who be like I’m not going to have sex with no one, I’m to good to even hint that I’m a sexual person. Yall make me want to throw up. Sex is wonderful its life changing and I don’t mind telling you who I have had sex with at my school. Because I thought about it and I felt like it was what I wanted. But that won’t change who I am and what I can do in life. Just like if I went gay which I might…. That would not make me a different person it would just change my sex life which should be none of your business.

So pray for me, cus if life keeps going this way I might get sick every time I go out and communicate with females and males alike

I don't like the way we are. Don

I’m not fine…I cry myself to sleep most nights and if you asked me I wouldn’t tell you. I don’t like this distance I don’t like the feeling I have in my stomach. I’m growing away from them… my friends and I try and make up but there’s a few that I feel I have lost forever… I have never been the type to try and reconcile things so don’t ask for to much. Ill say sorry and tell you ware I was coming from but I don’t do well with that whole period of being treated like a step friend. So ill be hear when that’s over and your ready to shit on the grass and look at the tress look at the sky as the sky looks at us. Ight that was a bit much.
Oh and playing on peoples phone is so old so if you have time call this man and let him know (540 819 5674)… ill be chilling though.

I'm going home

I didn’t want to right this blog till it was time for me to go back to school. But I have noticed that once I left that day in august my life in DC left with me… Yes I come back to visit but when you leave a place and lose you bed and dresser it’s a feeling you get that lets you know that you’re not expected to return… And coming home for all my first breaks in college is normal for my family; my older brother did it, m youngest uncle and now me. But what followed that first break is why I am writing. During the summer my brother worked every hour and if he wasn’t working he was out. Most nights he didn’t even spend the night in the house. And I believe it’s my time. I have to become and adult. But its not that scary… I went to the movies with my sister Ariel yesterday and we say a sniped about the discovery channel and there was a bird that was pushed out of the nest by its mother. But surprisingly the bird did not fly; it did not fall and die. Instead it fell to the floor and picked its self off the ground and began to walk. I don’t know if it was the leaves on the ground of the forest or that that’s what my life is coming close to. I may not be ready like many others my age, but my old fashion parents are. And in this new world ill have to walk this forest floor before I can rise up and fly….

The answers don't matter... it's the question that you need to lisen to.

If I said good bye would you leave right away?

That’s the question I have for most of my friends…their answer could tell me a lot about what I mean to them. It’s no doubt that most of my friends like being around me. They say I’m fun enjoying to be around and I never seem down. And I think that I try my best to compromise with people. So what is this that has been going on lately with these people around me? It’s like I have to beg to be with the people that say they want to be around me. I guess it’s just a rant so don’t mind it to much. I guess I’m just growing into my self… I’m sorry if you don’t like who I am becoming.

Its Happining now

I’m sorry Donnie but this is my blog and I choose to put up what I like.
Any way today was great I got a lot of paper work done….but I feel bad for these people that have to sit and do this everyday… because they have to hear all these sob stories and then go back home and deal with their lives.

Then I had a something to post for Reggie because we went to see the Happening when it first came out and he doesn’t believe me when I said that the people stopped in their tracks and went backward then killed themselves. He doesn’t believe then went backwards so I turned to YouTube… (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4u4iGJOEPk ) this one didn’t show them walking backwards but I swear it happened...

I wasn't going to blog today but...

I wasn’t going to blog tonight but I just couldn’t go to sleep with out it. I have nothing else to do its like my only time to talk to people other then my family.. I swear this has to be one of the worst spring breaks a girl could have.

I was up late on Facebook and a friend asked me about a poem I promised him. So I wrote it. I’m not going to say how long it took… because I don’t remember. But he gave me the line “when you peep my swag tell me what you see” so hear is what I wrote

When you tell me
ask away I say
When you peep my swag
tell me what you see
when you sleep at night
tell me what you dream
when you loving in the light
tell me who you see
when you eat outside on the grass
tell me if you washed your hands
when you dance in a badly lit room
tell me is sweat on your ears
when you hear my name
tell me do you smile
when you lick ice cream
tell me do you taste my finger prints
when you stand in the shower
tell me do you wish you could capture a picture
when you get a hair cut
tell me do you think of my kisses on your neck
when you stand outside on a warm day
tell me do you think of our adventures around DC
when you have fallen in love with yourself
tell me can I be part of the threesome
when you listen to music
tell me does it hurt your ears
when you think of your many lady friends
tell me am I on top
when you think of marriage
tell me am I invited to the reception
when you ask me why I ask
tell me do you really want the Answer?


Then I was looking at TMZ and I heard this line I just had to put it up… If yall have ever seen high school musical then you would understand these two are the main characters and they are a couple inside the movie and in real life. The guy Zack is in the airport and the ask “if yall had a baby would it be owned by Disney” lol to funny Zack and the other lady Vanessa they need to just take it as s joke…

ugh this mouth of mine

Is this real life?

Am I going to feel like this forever?

This video is so funny… (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txqiwrbYGrs ) but what made it so funny was that I was shown it after a dentist appointment. Well sorry but that’s all I have for today.. I went to Teddy’s which is a Caribbean food place in silver springs and I got some doubles which is like a snack food from Trinidad. I miss it so much because this was nothing like what I had back then. Any who I was out like a light. That medicine is crazy I can sympathize with David..

Its all what they said it would be.

I didn’t go to sleep last night.. If anyone wanted to know. It was like I wanted to go to sleep cause I had been drinking but I just couldn’t. Any once everyone left the couch which is now my bed I tried to go to sleep. But it didn’t work. So I rolled around for a while then finally gave up and went in my parent’s room and sleep on their bed. Because for some reason their bed was the only one that had sheets on it. I guess they had left to do laundry. What ever the case may be. I didn’t wake up till 12 like always. Got a few friendly calls and got a visit from my uncle P. Then I joined my friends in a going about to Bowie state for Living Ledgens practice. Reggie’s car suffered the most because it started squalling once we got into dc and took the L and was the first person to leave.

But that’s not why I decided to write a blog today. I was on my way to Bowie when I walked up a street that I have never walked up before and I saw some old friends. It was funny because had I not took that wrong turn I would have never seen the truth in what my parents were telling me. These boys were the cream of the crop back in junior high and high school. All the girls came around my neighborhood following after these boys. And they would cat call after me every morning. But this spring break when I stopped to say hi and ask about what they had been up to. There was nothing for them to say except “shit chillin in the hood” or “fucking with this nigga right hear”. My parents had always said that they will always be there hanging on the corner so you can go off and get your education. When you come back there be there for you to hang out with. And it’s so true.

Now I’m not saying that everyone had to go to college and if you don’t you’re a dead beat but. These few that don’t have a job, still living off parents and friends, thinking that they got all that a girl needs because they have a car and long hair. They are the DC dudes that won’t be there for my wedding because they have wasted there better parts of their lives and might be to embarrassed to come to a wedding party alone.

I love that I’m who I have come to be with all my short falls and all. Any way the last thing I promise. I know I talk about Brandon and my best friend Donnie a lot on hear but there are no pictures. There are some of Reggie and Demetrius and Markus but not Brandon and Donnie so look to the side of the blog and there will be some pictures not. Ill label them for you Kay bye…

A little bit of fun

Today was my second day in DC. And it was a little bit better. I decided that I would look for a job online for the summer since its time that I take some reasonability and become my own source of money.

Then I waited and waited for Reggie then I decided to make my own plains. And I meet up with some old friends. Hung out at an old chill spot and drank a little and didn’t smoke even though that was the whole idea of the get together.

Any who what I got out of this day was a conversation that I had with my old friend. You see this old drunk walked pass and said don’t let that one go son. And it made me think. I’m 19… and yes I have a few years left before I start thinking about settling down. But I feel like this is the time in my life when I need to start looking for that guy that complete me and betters my life and not just there to have fun and go out and spend money. I think it’s about time that I start looking for my other half. Not to say that I haven’t found him but I need to be more concentrated on that then on a good time

I’m sleepy now but time will tell when the rat chance will be over but today ill just have a good ol time. And boy was this night fun. A little roof action and feeling the wind around me and nothing to hold me back. That’s what I need in my life now. So ill find you later Mr. Right.

I'm back in DC

So today I had my statistics test that I been studying for like crazy. Well have to wait and see what I got. Then I had to sit through classes with teachers that didn’t want to be there and really just wanted to say why the hell did yall come to class get the hell out. IT’S SPRING BREAK. >>>

As soon as it was 5 o’clock I left my last class and went on my way to get my bags together. Brandon tried to come and visit for a little bit. Between me and you cause I don’t think he reads this I didn’t really want him to come because of what happen yesterday with me going to VSU and not seeing him. I was still a little mad. SO when my parents called and told me they were down the street. I called and let him know and I felt bad like his voice sounded like some one stepped on his big toe right after that they wouldn’t let him hold his foot. I got my chipotle though…I have been trying to get some since winter break.

Then we went on our way back to the chocolate city. And I slept the whole way. Now I asked if they wanted me to drive and they said NO so I went to sleep. Mouth open head back and snoring; It was so comfy. Then as soon as I got close I went on search for something to do. And there was nothing not one good get together not one little Mc Donald’s sit down everyone was busy. What a bummer. So I’m hear downloading music and watching some black history channel special and talking to a good friend about his spring break plans that shit on mine.

We get lose

Girl I drank that I got thirsty… in relations to a bottle of vodka in this mans dresser draw. (Reggie is a drunk nuf said)

I went to VSU and I felt like I was being raped with every one of these people’s eyes. I was so scared I didn’t even asked ware the bathroom was even though I had to pee like a Russian race horse in a Kentucky derby with a glue truck behind him. Then I didn’t even a see Brandon because this man has a class from 5 50 till 712. Crazy and I paid 20 dollars to see this man and I didn’t even see his car.

Any who after that I went in and studied a little for my statistic exam and then Reggie called and influenced me to come to the karaoke night. We got drunk and sang songs and made burgers and it was great. I love my friends.

just something that was on my mind

Today I had classes off and on. I’ll start with my Intercultural class. How about the teacher said that no one in the class received higher then an 84 in all 3 of her classes on her mid term. And I got a 44. I was so made because I studied so hard for that test I could tell you almost every thought that the writer had. Well see what she decides to do. Then my 12 o’clock was cancelled so I went to eat at Shafer our dinning hall at VCU and then went on to my room. Classes went on this was till 4 o’clock then I went to my room and wasted a couple of hours with Facebook. Until I went to my group moda practice. My show is coming up In April once it gets closer ill put up more information Any who they a friends showed me this girl named Devanna she is soo fierce she was on Tyra and is in a house which is like a modeling troop, hears a link to you tube if you want to watch. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzl1e2C1ziQ ).









Another topic I wanted to talk about was this whole little craze on Facebook with this picture of a whole bounce of friends that people tag so that you can see what your friend’s think of you…yeah it’s crazy because none of my friends have made one yet its kinda annoying.

so unorganized

Today was a great stay in roll around in the bed day. I’m not going to say any names but sometimes you need a little disorder in your life to make you day brighter. I was a bit unorganized and instead of going on my midterm meeting at the designated time I went a whole 2 hours later thinking that I was scheduled for 2:40 and not 12:40. Hopefully I can make it up. Today I also had a down side I got a call from my mom and she was basically bitching about next school year and ware I will be living. She has decided that I am not going to live any ware that cost over 400 a month but she fails to realize that everything that is under 500 a moth does not include utilities and I refuse to live with people I don’t know again... I tried the whole meeting new people and living with them thing and I have come to the conclusion that its just not for me…I get to irritated when they have personal problems and try to come to me for advice because I don’t seem to be having problems and they wanna know how I keep my cool… (I have friends dummy) sorry. Well any who I’m still looking. Then she was finely convinced that I need to get a job. Mind you I am 19 years of age and I have never had a job ware I have gone and done an application and have a call back for and interview and got the job. She thinks that that little summer program that DC has for the children counts as a job. Little does she know employers look at that and ask what else have you done? It doesn’t mean shit to them. So now I’m caught in this situation of trying to make my mom happy and be reasonable with myself. Since I will not be getting the meal plain next year that knocks off a few thousand dollars so that can go to the apartment then I get a refund because of the scholarship that I got hopefully it continues seeing that the guy is now in jail. It’s a snow storm for real.

we are so fun hear at monroe park.

It was snowing and I wanted to cry…. But I sucked it up and got all dressed in this puffy clothing that my mom snuck into my luggage and I manned up for war. We had a big snow fight in the middle of Monroe Park and it made me feel like I had grown into a new family. The snow throwing was not limited to the people you see everyday in the halls of your dorm…. I remember taking a huge glob of snow and smashing it on the back of a lady that I see all that time at Shafer. And it made me feel like the world was realizing how much all this structure was getting us in a big fuss. I hate snow lets put that on the record but I had fun and didn’t end up leaving the scene of the snow fight till 12 o’clock when the police came and told everyone to go home.

Although there were a few that were not taking part of this wonderful game... at the end of the night when I showered and went to sleep I was happy that I went to college and didnt stay home and go to hair school... because then I would have never been in that snow fight.

Metri

Last

night i went to support my friend Demetrus cater at the MR. Delta pagent and he won second place... most would be sad and not wanna to hang out. But not my metri and im proud of him for that.

The show was great and very pleasing to watch, i just whis that the seats i got would have been a bit better. All in all it was a great night... that i ended again alone in my room... We got to work on these endings because they are getting a little boring.